


Loss and Relief

by Nooodlen



Category: Original Work
Genre: Funeral, Grief/Mourning, Just an original work, This is a story I wrote a while back, about an oc of mine, dug it up and decided why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nooodlen/pseuds/Nooodlen
Summary: **An original work. Just my OC at a funeral alone.**Altair has been through a lot. He watched his parents die and his grandmother neglected him. The world he lives is ruled by hostile overlords and he had no where to turn.A resistance begins and he joins along, even as his powers slowly but surely erase him from reality.Then his grandmother dies.





	Loss and Relief

**Author's Note:**

> **Trigger Warning**  
> Funeral

Altair stood alone in a room. A room filled with chairs and flowers. A room meant to be filled with loved ones and mourning. Instead it was just him, the flowers and the casket before him. He silently stood over the casket, eyes gazing distantly at the familiar face within. There were no tears shed. No words spoken. He simply stood in the suit he rented just for this occasion. Altair refused to sully one of the ones he owned for this. No. This was something he would wear once and never see again. Just as it should be.

Words bubbled in his throat yet he was unable to say them. Following the few shreds of advice the woman in the casket bothered to share with him over the years. If you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. So he remained silent, still as a statue as he gazed down upon the casket. The silence was deafening and stifling. It buried him. Really, he only wanted to say something because he was supposed to. Hell, the only reason he even bothered to show up to this empty funeral was because he was expected to. Now that he was here, he was regretting it. Finally, he found words.  
  
“I really should not be here,” he stated quietly. “This is an event for those that mourn you. For those who cared for you and loved you.”   
  
Falling silent, he closed his eyes and sighed. “I might have once. Years ago. I might have cared for you and loved you but you never earned that. I only did it because I was meant to. Because I was expected to.”  
  
Running his fingers through his hair, he trotted over to a chair and sat down. His fingers itched for his knitting needles. “You were meant to be family. You were meant to be there for me when I lost it all,” he went on quietly, tears gathering in his eyes as he tilted his head back against the back of the chair. They were not for the one in the casket though. They were for what he had lost, all those years ago.

“Instead, you left me to pick myself back up. And I did. Thing is, I was never truly ever able to put myself back together. I still dream of that day. Sometimes, if I close my eyes, I can see it all happen in horrible detail. I was never allowed to have this with them. This closure. You never gave them the funeral they deserved. Never let me know where they were buried or if you even buried them. For all I know, you just left them where they fell.” Tone turning bitter, his lip curled in disgust. Lifting his head, he glared at the casket.

“You were a horrible woman, a horrible mother and a horrible grandmother. You allowed yourself to wallow in self pity when grandfather died and just threw yourself a shitty pity party when mother and father died. You were so fucking selfish. If you had looked up once. Looked up and got over yourself, you would have seen you were not alone,” he stated, voice full of venom. “You would have seen the little boy that needed you. The little boy who loved you and reached out to you when both of you needed it most.”

Altair found himself crying, mourning what could have been if only the woman of the casket had done just that. Drying his tears on his sleeve, he let out a wobbly breath. “Not only did you selfishly wallow in your self pity, you kept so much from me. What was meant for me by right. The store that would have become my home had things been different. The money that would have supported me when I needed it most. All the boxes full of memories. You kept them from me when they were meant to be mine long ago. You kept it all and even had the gall to spend the money they had worked so hard to make on things that would horrify my parents and get us all into a lot of trouble,” he went on, pushing himself to his feet, anger vibrating through him before he began to pace.

Suddenly he came to a stop. “Lucky for you, you selfish hag, I am not too angry. No. Though if I had found out about this a year ago I would have danced and spat upon your grave,” he stated, seeming to have calmed down. “I have people now that fill the shoes you left empty. They are all so kind. So bright. Though they all have their own issues and dramas. Though I can tell that most if not all have been through something terrible in their pasts. They did not allow themselves to become like you. All of them are working to make things better and so am I. They did not break as you did. They are all so caring. All so funny and kind.”

Finding himself smiling, he sighed. “And perhaps, maybe, one day they will be able to pick up the mess you and my loss left behind. Maybe they will be able to pick up the pieces of me that had broken long ago and support me. Maybe… one day… I will heal from it all. Just like you, to push off that responsibility onto others. I am happy this way though. If you had done it, you probably would have left me more broken than I was when it all began.” Altair closed his eyes once more, shoulders relaxing.

“I know I have been less than kind to you, these last few minutes. Even so, I hope you are finally at peace. I hope that you are in a better place. You have had a terrible life of loss and heartbreak. Though I resent you, I don’t wish for you to be punished for being human. Even a terrible one.” Altair stepped up to the casket, removing a flower from one of the vases nearby and placing it over his grandmother’s heart. 

“I’ll be going now. I’ll take over the shop. I’ll live my life to its fullest and maybe, one day, when someone reaches out for help as you and I once did. I will be there to answer.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is somewhat old. It was just collecting dust in my google docs and I figured I might as well show it off. I use my writing to explore topics that I wish to understand through the eyes of a character.  
> This is me exploring grief in a way.   
> I have another story about Altair, lemme know if anyone's interested, yeah?


End file.
